Salty Heifer Salon

I woke up with good intentions today, but then….
My attitude woke up and she’s already murmuring and talking crap. Now we’re both outside unsupervised and disrespectful. It’s gonna be a good day!

Due to Financial reasons I’m going to have to start posting adult content.
So…stay tuned for my posts about Heartburn & Back Pain.

I miss the version of me that could sneeze without doing a quick risk assessment.

When I say I feel like Barbie, I mean my hip is making a clicking sound

The next time you shop, ask your checkout person what kind of candy bar they like and buy them one. I did this today. I was at self-checkout, but still, it’s a nice thing to do.

Wife: “Honey, wanna play a little game?”
Husband: “Sure! What are the rules?”
Wife: “Easy. If I name a country, you run to the left wall. If I name a bird, you run to the right wall. Choose the wrong direction and you owe me your entire monthly paycheck.”
Husband: “Deal. But if you mess up, I get your salary too, right?”
Wife: smiling innocently, “Absolutely sweetheart.”
Husband: jumps up, ready to compete “Alright let’s start.”
Wife: “Turkey.” The husband froze. Now he’s been sitting there for three days straight, trying to figure out whether I just named a bird or a country.

Yet another beautiful day stolen by shackles of employment.