Royal Beauty by Rose

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When was trending, it kind of put me in a bit of a spiral. I realized that instead of healing from my past trauma, I had shoved it all behind a door, pasted a “DO NOT ENTER” sign on the front and repeated I’m okay, I’m fine, look how okay and fine I am! to myself for around 10 years, and unfortunately, faking it ‘til you make it just doesn’t work in situations like these.

From ages 15-18, I was in an abusive relationship where I was first emotionally abused and conditioned into believing no one else could ever truly love or care about me, and that quickly turned to also being sexually abused and r***d countless times until I finally had the courage to walk away. I’m saying it out loud now, no side-stepping, no hinting, not anymore. For the first time, I verbalized what happened to me instead of trying to convince myself that it wasn’t as bad as it was. It was bad.

I was left with countless hang ups about myself, my body, my soul, my sexuality and sexual identity – I could go on. I still get night terrors. I still have a lot of anger inside.

Among many other things at the retreat, we did some Muay Thai. At first I was WAILING on the instructor, landing punches like there was no tomorrow, thinking that this was finally my chance to do what I wish I would have done then. But it was too much. Emotionally I began going to a place I didn’t want to go. I felt helpless and small. After a good cry outside I just sat and watched another woman go. Because of her, I stood up to try again, this time with the male instructor. He had seen what happened and said something to me that changed my life. “You are in control of your power.” I guess I hadn’t ever considered that I’m not just a leaf in the wind, subject to my emotions and memories and everyone else around me. I’m an autonomous human being and I’m in control of this. We did it again – it felt amazing. I can’t describe the change that happened in my soul.

I am so intensely joyful. I can’t even begin to explain all the healing and knowledge I’ve left with post-retreat. No more hiding, no more pretending it never happened. I'm in control of my power. -Sophia, Survivor

Child sexual abuse is an epidemic that thrives in secrecy and compels its victims to remain silent, often for decades. Two years ago, the Movement empowered countless survivors to disclose their abuse, many for the first time.

While disclosure can be an important step for many survivors, it’s only one part of the healing process. At TYF, we’re here to help survivors of child sexual abuse heal, whether they disclosed during the Movement, some other time, or haven’t yet disclosed.

Visit youniquefoundation.org to learn more.

Think of the women you interact with on a daily basis. Think of your friends, family members, coworkers, and classmates. 1 of every 4 of those women is likely a survivor of child sexual abuse.

You can help those women heal. Click here: youniquefoundation.org

Sometimes it's the simplest reminders that are the most powerful. Visit https://youniquefoundation.org/now-what/ to find hope & healing.

Whether you disclosed during the movement, at another time, or you're simply thinking about disclosing, your story is important. Your voice is valuable and you deserve to be heard.

We have more tips and information on navigating the disclosure process and the emotions that come with it on our website: https://youniquefoundation.org/now-what/