the wax room

🚨 BREAKING NEWS OUT OF WIGGINS, MISSISSIPPI. 🚨

GOOD MORNING TO EVERYBODY EXCEPT THE WOMEN STILL BUYING RAZORS IN 2026.

It is I. Your local Cooter Queen. 👑

Unfortunately, it appears I can no longer go out in public without being recognized.

What started as a simple trip to Walmart has turned into a full-blown celebrity appearance.

THE PAPARAZZI HAVE FOUND ME. 📸

I can’t even walk down the feminine hygiene aisle without being approached by members of the community.

And WHERE, you may ask, did this historic encounter take place???

THE DAMN RAZOR AISLE.

THE RAZOR. AISLE.

OF ALL THE PLACES IN STONE COUNTY TO RUN INTO THE COOTER QUEEN. 😭

Now I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I do believe the Lord was trying to send somebody a message.

Because WHY are we standing in front of a wall of Venus razors when you have a perfectly good licensed bush removal specialist standing RIGHT BESIDE YOU???

That’s like running into Jesus at the liquor store. SOMEBODY’S FIXING TO GET SAVED. 😭🙌🏼

And before y’all start, YES, I took a picture with a member of the public. NO, I will not be signing autographs on anybody’s bikini line.

I HAVE BOUNDARIES.

At this point, I’m considering hiring security. I can’t even purchase household necessities without being reminded that half of Stone County is one missed shaving day away from becoming a protected wildlife habitat.

AND ANOTHER THING.

I KNOW some of y’all have been reading these posts every morning like the Wiggins Herald.

Laughing. Sharing. Sending them to your group chats.

BUT HAVE YOU BOOKED???

NO.

You’re treating my business page like a FREE COMEDY CLUB, and quite frankly, the admission price is a Brazilian.

The community has spoken. The bushes have not.

Anyway, if you see me in public, please remain calm. No pushing, no screaming, and PLEASE do not ask me to inspect your situation in the middle of Walmart.

I AM OFF THE CLOCK. 😭

Respectfully submitted,

👑 The Cooter Queen
Stone County Department of Hoochie Maintenance
Director of Bush Management & Public Relations
Now Accepting Celebrity Appearances & Brazilian Appointments

P.S. To the good people at Gillette Venus: It’s nothing personal, baby. But your business is directly interfering with mine, and I WILL be bringing this up at the next town hall meeting. 💚

This statement was released without the knowledge or approval of Walmart management.

🚨 ATTENTION CITIZENS OF WIGGINS AND SURROUNDING COMMUNITIES. 🚨

It is I. Your local Cooter Queen. 👑

Before anybody starts hollering, NO, I am not accepting appointments today. Even the Lord rested on the seventh day, and quite frankly, so does this coochie mechanic. 🫡

As you can see from the photograph attached, I have been working tirelessly to keep the women of Stone County from returning to their natural habitat. 🌳

I have stretched myself thin. LITERALLY. LOOK AT ME.

The legs are in the air. The wax is hot. The morale is questionable.

Some of y’all have been following this page for MONTHS, laughing at my posts, liking my pictures, and STILL walking around with a whole national forest in your britches.

AT WHAT POINT DO WE CONTACT THE DEPARTMENT OF WILDLIFE, FISHERIES, AND PARKS??? 😭

THOSE DAMN GREEN JEANS NEED TO GET INVOLVED AT THIS POINT. 🚨

I am ONE WOMAN. I cannot single-handedly fight deforestation AND reforestation in the same county.

And to the heifers who were in my comments yesterday but STILL haven’t booked…

I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

I HAVE A LIST.

I’m not saying you’re on a watchlist, but if I see you in Walmart, we WILL be discussing your lack of commitment to community beautification.

Anyway, your Queen will be out of office today.
Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

The cooters can wait. The Queen needs a nap.

Respectfully submitted,

👑 The Cooter Queen
Director of Bush Management & Public Relations
Stone County Department of Hoochie Maintenance

This has been a public service announcement. No bushes were harmed in the making of this post. Unfortunately. 💚

Opening Monday, Tuesday, and Saturday next week🤪

https://theewaxxroom.glossgenius.com/

While i have your attention😘

See this cutie patootie.. she’s holding 8 DUCKS.
They are hidden all around Assisters Collective
Each duck is $10 off any service.
Only one per person!

If your on my text marketing you have know for hours🤪

Go support them tomorrow and go find a duck and bring it to your next appt 🥰
Okayyy luv you byeeee🖤

🚨 ARISE AND SHINE, WIGGINS FOLK. 🚨

Your local COOTER QUEEN has clocked in and is ready to serve the community. 🫡👑

I have a few SECRET spots open today, so if your downstairs department needs some maintenance, SLIDE IN MY MESSAGES. 📲

FIRST OF ALL. I HAVE ON A SWEATSHIRT. A SWEAT. SHIRT. 🧥

It’s 62° outside, which in South Mississippi means we’re approximately 3 business hours away from a blizzard. Somebody check on the elderly, cover the plants, and get the milk and bread.
You all did buy every damn case of water 😮😑 couldn’t even buy a case for the salon🫠

WE MAY NOT MAKE IT. ❄️

Now let’s discuss yesterday.

ALL YOU HOOCHIES were in my comments cutting up, laughing, carrying on, acting like you were fixing to come get that wilderness cleared out.

AND NOT A SINGLE APPOINTMENT WAS MADE.

I’m disappointed. I’m disgusted. I’m considering calling a town hall meeting.

Y’all got time to be on Facebook giggling, but apparently no time to get that front yard landscaped. THE HOA IS FIXING TO SEND LETTERS. 😭

I cannot continue to be the only person in this town concerned about the local vegetation.

Anyway, the wax is hot, the gloves are on, and the Lord has blessed us with another opportunity to be bald.

BOOK THE APPOINTMENT, BELOVED. 🫶🏼

With love, concern, and a fresh wax stick,

Your Cooter Queen 💚👑

Come get your cooter waxed before we blow away in this hurricane.

You can’t have a bush on tv okay. 😭 iykyk

Canva really took this picture and ran with it😭💀

🫵🏼if you do end up on the tv, i could care less about your bra.. just shout out your wax lady okay! I’m half of Wiggins dirty little secret at this point.

Okaayyy love you bye 🖤

The rainforest called, it wants its vegetation back👀

If the bush is bushing just use this link 👇🏼

https://theewaxxroom.glossgenius.com/

You know the song right?? 😝

https://theewaxxroom.glossgenius.com/

Starting spooky season off with a BANG⚡️
We love a girly who follows her exfoliating routine!🥰
You wanna be her, book it here 👇🏼

https://theewaxxroom.glossgenius.com/