Distruction Fam

"i owe myself an apology—for staying too long in places where respect and love were just shadows, where i was wanted only for memories, never for who i am now. i put others before myself, hoping to hold on to what was, while forgetting what i deserved. now, i’m learning to forgive myself, and to choose me first."

I have to apologize to myself for putting up with something that I do not deserve. I know that I have been trying my best to be kind to people, even when most of them don't deserve it. I keep forgiving people, I keep understanding them, and I keep giving them chances because I always believe in their goodness. But lately, I realized how pitiful it is to always consider someone else's feelings while forgetting about mine. I have been trying my best to be nice, to the point that people have become okay with disrespecting me. I realized that I have been really kind to others, but not to myself.

I deserve an apology to myself. I have been through so much pain while I was trying to protect anyone from being hurt. I keep giving a piece of me to everyone while I keep losing myself in silence. I have been treated like sh*t, but I still have to pretend that it was okay all along. I have to apologize to myself for all the bad things that I have endured from people who couldn't appreciate my kindness. I guess this is sad— I have practiced treating people well while I was so unkind to myself. And maybe being kind is so draining. I used to love doing good things for people until they started taking advantage of the kindness that I always showed them.