Pure Romance By Lee-Anne

Vi*****rs are a Girl’s Best Friend

I recently watched a great movie called “Hysteria” which, to my surprise, was not a horror movie. It was about the first female vi****or! This movie had everything: history, comedy, s*x, Hugh Dancy… seriously, what more could a girl want? However, there is one scary part of the movie. I learned that the origins of the female vi****or are horrifically s*xist and oppressive.

For many centuries, “hysteria” was a “disease” that was categorized by a “wandering uterus”. Women who suffered from hysteria had “symptoms” like anxiety, irritability, erotic fantasies, and emotional extremes, among many others that made them “hysterical”. The solution? Bring a woman to or**sm. But no one (doctors, women, or men) knew it was an or**sm because, gasp, women don’t have libidos! “Hysteria” does not exist, but s*xual frustration does, and neither women, nor their man, knew how to please.

Up until the 20th century, women in the western world were thought to be baby incubators who were incapable of experiencing any s*xual desire or pleasure. Women were conditioned to “put up” with s*x to fulfill their husband’s needs and bear children. There was essentially zero understanding of female s*xuality because it was too taboo to even study. It was an unspoken social norm that women weren’t supposed to like s*x. Why? I could not tell you. I presume it dates back to the bible where virginity equates to virtue and self control.

Believe it or not, di**os were an option to satisfy hysteria for a few centuries before the 1600s, but since they don’t provide any cl****al stimulation, they don’t completely relieve a woman’s s*xual desires. There’s also the fact that ma********on was seen as self-abuse, so di**os weren’t an option from the 17th century, on.

Okay so if di**os were out of the question and women (presumably) don’t like s*x, how did one cure hysteria?!?

Simply, a doctor or midwife applied vegetable oil to the lady bits and then inserted a finger or two in the va**na and used the heel of the palm to press against the cl****is. Using circular motions, they’d massage the woman’s ge****ls until the process suddenly relieved her hysterical symptoms (i.e. she’d or**sm). Could take minutes, could take an hour.

Despite medicine being extremely primitive in the 18th and 19th century, this condition was one of the few that doctors could successfully treat. Shocking. It was so successful that tons of women flocked to their doctors and regularly came. 😉

But aside from this whole situation being super weird and s*xist, there was a drawback with this treatment.

The main problem was not that a suspiciously large amount of women were experiencing hysteria, no no, it was that doctors were suffering. Indeed, the main concern about this whole process was that doctors’ hands cramped up and they developed Carpel Tunnel Syndrome after fi*****ng women all day.

Behold! The invention of electricity, one of the most important inventions ever. Aside from transforming everyone’s life for the rest of eternity, electricity gave us the vi****or! Well, technically, Dr. Joseph Mortimer Granville gave us the vi****or when he patented the first electromechanical vi****or in 1880. It was immediately a hit and gave women the option to satisfy their “condition” as often as they desired. This also led to the demise of hysteria treatment.

A strange contingency of history is that, at the same time electricity was invented, advertisements were gaining popularity. The female vi****or was advertised in popular women’s magazines and the Sears & Roebuck Catalogue all the time in the 1890s.
female vi****or
c. 1919 ad.

Sadly, vi****ors disappeared a few decades later. With the invention of the moving picture in the 1920s, po*******hy found its way into this new medium and showed women using vi****ors. Pornographic movies quickly made vi****ors socially unacceptable for almost 50 years. The Women’s Liberation movement in the 1970s brought the vi****or back and got rid of (some of) the stigma of female ma********on.

Although we have made some great scientific, medical, and social advancements, there is still a great deal of stigma all over the world about female s*xuality. Stigmas range from calling a woman a “slut” or “whore” if she enjoys s*x and has a lot of it (entirely subjective), to the more serious ignominy that go as far as to completely mangle the cl****is. Female ge***al mutilation, a terrible and painful process, is rampant in parts of Africa and has no practical or medical reason other than to cause irreparable damage to a woman’s ge***al organs. There are efforts being made to ban this practice, but it is often done in secret.

I’d like to add my own two cents by saying that s*xual desire is nothing to be ashamed of. Enjoying s*x and ma********on is 100% normal and natural. So instead of condemning women’s libido by forcing archaic and outdated views about virtue and rectitude, let’s celebrate our basic human instinct!

Most importantly – be safe, be smart, have fun, and love yourself first

Fun Facts:

The cl****is is the only organ in the human body (male or female) that is solely for pleasure. That’s right, it has no other function but to make women feel good.

It has about 8,000 nerve endings, doubling the amount that a p***s has (around 4,000), making it the most sensitive part of the body.

Today, about 1 in 3 American women have a vi****or. Women of the world, I highly encourage us to collectively raise this number.

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